Mental Love
by kasumi18
Summary: I'm back with a brand new story, and it's YAOI. Gaanaru. What happens when a psycho killer and a kid who hears voices in his head share a room at a mental institution? Read and find out. Explanation for late Updates on other stories inside.


Okay before I get on with the yaoi…I have to explain to all of you why I haven't updated in, like, five months. I have seemingly lost all interest in GaaSaku. I know, you're all like, HIUSAHIUGF WHAT D: but it's not my fault. I recently entered and RP (role play) in which there is a girl named Carlie and she is paired with Gaara. Now you may all be confused as to why I am letting an RPCXGaara ruin SakuraXGaara for me. But I can't help it if you were all in the RP you'd understand. So I'll try to update my other stories, but honestly I don't think I'll get around to it. But in any case, ON WITH THE YAOI.

GaaNaru isn't ruined for me :D any straight couple with Gaara is down the gutter, but a gay couple? No way. GaaNaru is just too cute. I mean they are both so alike and yet so different, and the way Naruto saves Gaara…it's just so kawaii . So this is an AU story ;3 hope you all like it.

"Talking"

'_Thinking'_

'**Kyuubi Talking'**

-Scene Change-

* * *

**Mental Love**

The Meeting

He had been in the hospital for two years now. Hospital. Ha. More like a prison. They call it a 'hospital' because they're trying to 'heal' the people there. Cure them of their mental illnesses. What a bunch of crap. It's just another prison, another cage for people who are marked as 'insane' or 'crazy' or just plain fucking out of their minds. Who gives people the right to judge others? To mark them, put them in a category, and stuff them away, out of the public view?

Just because they're different, just because they hear voices, just because they live in their own world, just because they enjoy things other people mark as 'creepy' or 'scary'. Gaara was one of those; he loved to kill. The rush it gave him to hear the people crying out in pain, hearing the crack of their bones, the squish of their flesh… Viewing their mangled bodies, feeling the warm blood on his face, his hands, soaked into his clothes. That rush it gave him…it was indescribable.

Of course people don't consider murder something to be sent to a mental hospital for, they usually think only of being sent to prison. But when researching Gaara the police psychiatrist came to find that Gaara kills because of mental issues. It seems that when he was younger his father heavily abused him. He told Gaara that he was alone in the world, that no one cared about him, that no one loved him. He called him a monster, a murderer. He called him a murderer because during the process of Gaara's birth, his mother lost her life.

Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, Gaara was beaten. Everyday from the age of three to the age of twelve his father abused him. You would think that people would have found out, but they didn't. Gaara's dad made sure to leave his face untouched, and only hit him on his body. Gaara wore pants and long sleeves every single day, even in the summer.

But one night…Gaara lost it. Gaara wanted to inflict pain on others. Show them how it feels. Let them know how awful it was, the fear of not be able to move…to feel helpless…to feel like life is torture…no. Gaara didn't want to be like his father. He wanted to inflict pain…so he killed. He wasn't going to keep them alive, have them relive the nightmare of beatings…like he has to. Gaara killed because death is his deepest desire. He longs for it, he hates life. Because as long as he lives he'll remember it all, and the only way to get close to what he desires most is to kill. Killing brings him close to death; it gives him the rush, the sensation of feeling like he's free. But then in an instant it's all ripped from him. Because _he's _not the one dying, _he's _not the one getting freedom.

And even though every time he killed it made him feel horrible, like his hope was lost, he couldn't stop. He couldn't stop because that one moment when he feels close to death, when he tastes that freedom on the tip of his tongue…it was too addictive. He just couldn't stop, death was like a drug. It brought him to that all time high only to have to deal with the terrible consequences later. But Gaara didn't care. He'd keep doing it until the day that he, himself, was allowed that freedom, allowed death. And that was enough to keep Gaara living, for now.

But Gaara couldn't kill where he was now, in this 'hospital'. He wasn't allowed to have the thing he lives for. The 'hospital' is supposed to cure him of his mental illnesses. But if that's true, why does he feel like he's closer to insanity then ever before? He didn't understand. If they wanted to help him, they should just let him leave.

Ever since Gaara entered the 'hospital' he hasn't talked. He does the same thing every single day. He gets up, goes to the bathroom, takes a shower, and brushes his teeth, goes to breakfast, and then returns to his room. Once in a while he'll go to the bathroom, but usually not till after lunch. An hour after lunch he meets with his therapist. The therapist asks him a few questions, but as always, Gaara doesn't even give him a one word answer. Once a week after Gaara's therapy session he has to go to the doctors to see what meds he has to take this week. And then, once again, he returns to his room.

It's always the same pattern, nothing ever changes. Nothing ever will.

* * *

-With Naruto-

* * *

How could they send him to a mental institution? Naruto was perfectly sane. See, at first everyone just thought he talked to himself. That's not very abnormal; people do it all the time without even thinking about it. But later people heard him saying things like, 'hey, hey! Stupid Kyuubi! I'm talking to you!" But when he was screaming those things, there was no one around. Which meant Naruto wasn't talking to himself, he was talking to a voice inside his head.

But Naruto didn't make him up. The Kyuubi was real. Unfortunately, no one else believed that. It started with a couple therapy sessions here and there, and then they started putting him on meds, and now this. Naruto had no one to stick up for him, he had no parents. He lived at an orphanage. And with no parents, he had no one to defend him.

So here he was, the man who ran the orphanage, Jiraiya, talking with a nurse at the 'hospital', Tsunade.

Tsunade looked down at Naruto and smiled. "Welcome to the Sunoha (A/N: cross between Suna and Konoha) Mental Facility. My name is Tsunade."

Naruto nodded. He didn't feel like speaking right now. He was too angry, much too angry. Why was he being sent away? He didn't want to live in this 'Sunoha Mental Facility'. He was sane, not insane. He didn't belong here.

Tsunade grabbed his hand and started taking him inside. Naruto looked back at Jiraiya who simply waved, smiling like an idiot. This woman's strength was incredible. Her grip on Naruto's hand was quite painful, and no matter how much Naruto tried he couldn't move a single finger.

Tsunade stopped at a room and turned to Naruto. "There are bells signaling when breakfast, lunch, and dinner will be served. During times in between you can go to the common area or stay in your room, the choice is yours. We will come get you when it's time for your first therapy session, and once a week you'll visit the doctors to get new medication. The room that we just stopped in front of is going to be your room. Your room mate will be a boy named Sabaku no Gaara."

The name echoed in his head. Sabaku no Gaara…where had he heard that before?

Tsunade let go of Naruto's hand. "You can meet the other members of the hospital later. For now just get settled in your room."

She smiled at him once more before opening the door. The first thing Naruto noticed about the room…well that was just it. He didn't particularly notice anything. It was a plain white room, two night stands, two beds, one desk, and one chair. That was it, nothing else.

Well….there was SOMETHING else. Well not so much something as someone. A boy about fourteen was sitting on the bed with the best view of the window. His hair was blood red, and his eyes were jade green. He had dark circles around his eyes; it's as if he never sleeps. They weren't just under his eyes like most people have; they were completely circling his eyeball. At first glance one would assume it to be eyeliner, but if you look carefully enough you can clearly see that it's the skin itself. He was very pale as if he'd never seen the sun before. He was skinny, very skinny.

Naruto then noticed how he was blatantly staring at this Sabaku no Gaara. Not that Gaara seemed to notice, his attention was on the floor. As if nobody had entered the room at all.

Tsunade stuttered as she talked to Gaara, you could tell she was afraid. "A-ano…Gaara-san, this is you're new r-room mate. His name is Uzumaki Naruto…p-please let's trying and keep him as your room mate. He's the fifth one who's shared this room with you…"

Gaara didn't even nod; he didn't even honor her with a look.

Tsunade turned to Naruto and said, "well I'll leave you with Gaara to…erm…bond, yes, bond." Then she scurried out of the room, shutting the door behind her as she left.

Naruto looked toward Gaara, "ano…Moshi Moshi, my name is Uzumaki Naruto…oh wait Tsunade-san said that already…well anyway, it looks like you and me are going to be stuck with each other for a while, so let's make the best of it, ne?"

Gaara did tear his gaze from the floor, he didn't speak or nod, or anything for that matter. Not even a little sound of agreement.

Naruto slowly walked over to the bed parallel to Gaara's. He studied the red head, trying to figure out why he didn't even speak.

Naruto tried again to start up a conversation with Gaara. "so…ano…why are you in here?"

Gaara actually started to move, his head lifted slowly, his face twisted into a creepy smile, like he was reliving something. His eyes looked bloodshot, and he stared at Naruto, and Naruto could swear he felt blood lust emanating from Gaara. Naruto started shaking, which only made the creepy smile on Gaara's face grow.

And right then, Naruto knew where he had heard the name 'Sabaku no Gaara' before.

Naruto was now standing in front of thee Sabaku no Gaara, the notorious killer who had murdered over one hundred and fifty people. And he just happened to be giving off the urge for blood lust. Isn't that just peachy?

Naruto stared at Gaara with wide eyes, causing Gaara to smirk.

"Scared?" Gaara asked; his voice hoarse as if it hadn't been used for quite a while.

"A-a-ano…" Naruto stuttered. Scared was an understatement.

Gaara smirked more at his stuttering. This is what he used to do before he killed, torture the person mentally with fear. Although in the end, all he was doing now was teasing himself. He couldn't kill this boy, not while he was in this God forsaken place.

Gaara was shaking now. He needed to hurt something, to hear a scream of pain, to feel, or even just see, blood. He needed it now. The shaking grew more violent and Gaara stood up slowly.

It was a mistake to ask Gaara that question. Asking that question reminded Gaara of all the things he had done, all the things he treasures as precious memories. Remembering all the things he did made him want to do them again, relive them physically, and not just mentally.

Naruto pushed against his mattress until his back was touching the wall. Why was Gaara standing up? What was he planning to do?

Gaara advanced more, shaking still. His eyes were filled with blood lust, his mouth in the form of a sadistic smirk.

Naruto starting shaking more, his mind was yelling at him to run for the door but his body wasn't complying with the request. His eyes widened with every step closer Gaara made.

Gaara started licking his lips; he yearned for blood, or just for pain. He wanted the taste of the thing he desired most. He wanted the taste of death he got every time he killed. He wanted it now, and there is no way he's going to wait.

He was only three feet away from Naruto now. Even if Gaara couldn't kill him, he could at least cause him pain. He put a knee up on the bed, making it tilt towards him slightly. He reached over, as if going to grab Naruto.

Naruto flinched and clenched his eyes shut. Why wasn't his body responding?! Isn't instinct supposed to kick in during a time of danger?!

Gaara grasped Naruto by the throat and started to squeeze. Naruto gasped and put his hands on Gaara's wrists, attempting to pull them away, which only made Gaara squeeze tighter.

Naruto started squirming and eventually slid from leaning on the wall to laying on the bed, Gaara now sitting on him, in order to get a better hold on his neck, not helping Naruto's current situation at all. Gaara started to press on his throat more and it was getting more and more difficult for Naruto to breathe.

Well look at that, Gaara instinctively found a way to kill him after all.

Naruto started crying, was this it? Was his life over already after only fourteen short years? That couldn't be, Naruto wanted to live. He wanted to get out of this hospital one day and see the world. Be free to do whatever he wanted, once he turned eighteen and finally was free of Child Services that is. He couldn't die here!

"P-p-please d-don't kill m-me, G-gomen for w-whatever I d-did to you. G-gomen nasai…" Naruto somehow managed to get out. His voice was hoarse from being shocked, and shaken from crying.

And at that moment Sabaku no Gaara felt something he had never felt before. Guilt.

His hands loosened as he stared down at Naruto. He could see the tears spilling from his eyes which were filled with fear. And while looking down at him…Gaara saw himself.

-Flashback-

_A six year old Gaara was sitting in the right corner of the room. His father standing over him, fist raised as if about to strike the poor child._

_Gaara looked up at his father, fear in his eyes, tears streaming from his face. "D-d-daddy…please…p-please stop. Please d-don't hurt me a-anymore…please daddy. Gomen…G-gomen nasai…please just stop."_

_He was pleading with his father, begging for a forgiveness that could never be given. Why couldn't he be forgiven? Because he had done nothing wrong. He had nothing to apologize for, and therefore could not be forgiven for anything._

_His father lowered his fist and once again started abusing his poor, innocent son._

-End of Flashback-

Naruto's wide eyes, the tears streaming down his face, the fear emanating from him, him begging for forgiveness…he was acting exactly like Gaara had back then. He was also begging for a forgiveness that could never be granted to him, simply because he had done nothing wrong.

Gaara let go of Naruto's neck and put his hands on his head, grasping his hair and pulling at it.

Gaara was acting just like his father acted. Gaara didn't want that, he never wanted to be anything like his father. The father who ruined Gaara's life and made him become the killer he was today, the father who had abused Gaara relentlessly for nine long and painful years. And the fact that Gaara was acting like his father in any way shape or form sickened him to no end.

Gaara looked down at the trembling boy beneath him. He slowly got off and walked over to his side of the room. He sat on his bed and regained his emotionless features. He stared at the floor and stopped moving once again.

Naruto simply stared at him…one second he's bent on killing him, and the next he's acting as if nothing happened?! Naruto knew that coming to this 'hospital' wasn't going to bring anything good.

How could a place that was supposed to 'cure' people harbor someone who only wants to take peoples lives away?

He just didn't get it.

* * *

Woot :3 first chapters done :D I hope you all liked it. Please review!! I really want to know you're opinions, and I'm fully open to flames. If you didn't like it, or have any suggestions, feel free to tell me. And…did I mention to REVIEW!!! 


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